Pole Dancer Problems - Support is here!

I'm not one to complain. I know that life as a professional pole dancer is awesome. I love my job, and there's certainly never a dull moment. But as with all jobs, there are a few aspects of a pole dancer’s working life that require a bit of forbearance. The life of a pole dancer isn't always sunshine and roses, or even sequins and feathers, for that matter. Here is a list of a few of the ignominies we as pole dancers are required to endure in the name of our chosen profession.

Carpet burn

Oh God. This is one of the worst. When you see a fully-grown adult woman with carpet burn on her knees and elbows, most people assume there is only one logical explanation for it. I'm suffering from a bit of it at the moment, after a performance at a pub recently on a carpeted stage. 

I see non-pole dancing members of society looking at my knees and elbows curiously, and then politely look away. It makes me want to exclaim loudly, no people! The scabs on my elbows and knees are not from wild sexual rampages (ha - I wish)! They're from too much floor-work on carpeted surfaces. But the problem is, when you explain to non-pole dancers (let's call them civilians) that your carpet burn is not the result of a sexual orgy but from a pole dance performance on carpet in a pub, it probably won't really reassure them that you are an upstanding member of the community... Sigh...

Goodbye boobs, hello pecs

Those who know me via facebook will know that the loss of my bosoms is something I still mourn. Overall, I welcome the improved muscle tone that has come with pole, but I can’t deny that I often spend time looking at old photos of my boobs in a bikini and grieve. RIP, Shimmy’s bosoms. RIP. 

Check out my before and after shots.

Tailored clothing 

I still have my tailored shirts, jackets and dresses hanging up in my closet, even though I know for a fact that there is no way in hell I could possibly squeeze my bulging biceps into the sleeves of these elegant garments anymore. 

Every now and again I make the mistake of taking a non stretch item away with me somewhere, and then have to wear it because I didn’t pack anything else. I spend the rest of the day feeling like the Hulk, worrying that every time I move my clothes will shred and my true rippling green monster self will emerge. Rahhhh!!

It’s all about lycra these days. Head to toe lycra. I should be sponsored by Supre. 

Hungry. All. The. Time. 

Being in training for a big competition makes me feel like some kind of wild hunting jungle cat. Sometimes after the end of a training session, I’m so ravenous I can’t even think or speak until I’ve refueled. Be warned – if I have food in my hand after a training session and you ask for a bite, I’m likely to bite you. And growl. 

And then there’s the shaky hands and the pumped forearm, which make it impossible to get food from your hand to your face without spilling it all over yourself (which I do all the time – and Bailey Hart I know you do too – the stains on your ugg boots are a dead giveaway).

Bruises

We all know about the bruises. We’ve all been there, we all know about it - it’s a similar problem to the carpet burn issue. 

In my opinion, it’s the bruises on the inside of your upper arms, your hips and your thighs that are the hardest to explain to civilians. Of course, you can dress to hide your bruises. But as we all know, pole dancers are secretly proud of their bruises, which means that rather than hiding them, the pole dancer will wear them with pride, and even boast about them. 

But take note – civilians do not understand the rationale behind Bruise Pride. For a civilian, a bruise is the result of an embarrassing tumble or some kind of painful accident. Civilians think Bruise Pride is strange. 

Recently, I was getting a coffee with my boyfriend in a café when a policewoman walked in. I was wearing a top that revealed the bruises on my upper arm and hip. I caught the policewoman looking at them. For a moment, just for a laugh, I considered eyeballing my boyfriend and then mouthing the word “HELP” to her, but then I thought better of it. My boyfriend would not have been amused by that. 

Experiencing intense Bruise Pride

Random injuries

One of the joys of pole dancing is discovering new muscles you never knew you had. One of the downsides of pole dancing is that sometimes you discover these new muscles as a result of injury. Pole dancing injuries often occur in complex muscle groups that can make daily life activities challenging. 

Some of the regular life activities made more difficult by common pole injuries include:

-Trying to drive a manual car with hip flexor issues

-Taking off a t-shirt with rotator cuff issues

-Stiff neck from too many head rolls/hair flicks

-Sprained ankle from rolling your ankle in stripper shoes

-Sharp, stabbing pain in your side when sneezing, coughing or laughing from ribs that have been knocked out of place. It is not uncommon to hear a pole dancer say when laughing “Hahahaha no wait stop hahaha don’t make me laugh hahaha owww my ribs stop hahaha OWWWW….!!!”

When worlds collide

Unless you are a full-time pole dancer with no other income-generating side activities, chances are you will at times feel obliged to keep quiet about your pole activities in certain social settings. If you have a professional job in the conservative corporate world, you might even feel like you lead a double life sometimes (I know I did, back in the day).

But in spite of your best efforts, sometimes worlds collide and your secret will be revealed. Some common examples of how this can happen include: 

• You end up drinking too much at a work function, which can result in inappropriate splits and backbends in front of your colleagues;
• You run into your boss as you come off-stage at a local pub’s amateur pole competition;
• A video of one of your pole performances on youtube goes viral in the office, without your knowledge
• You get over-excited about something and inadvertently let slip: “This one time, at pole camp…”

YouTube

Murphy’s Pole Dancing Law: the worst performance you’ve ever given in your entire life will be the one that has the most hits on YouTube. Guaranteed. 

Family members

Proud Parents vs Embarrassed Parents - which is worse? The embarrassed parent will try to hide your pole dancing activities from other family members and friends. The proud parent shares your pole dancing pics on their facebook page and pulls up your youtube videos at family gatherings – seemingly oblivious to the awkwardness that ensues. 

My parents fall into the proud parent category. A while back, a local newspaper did a story on me and my pole studio (the Pole Dance Academy). After the article went to print, I got a phone call from my dad. This was our conversation. 

Me: “Hi dad! What’s up?”

Dad: “Great article in the paper!”

Me: “Thanks!”

Dad: “I showed it to some of my mates at work, but geez, people can be strange sometimes.”

Me: “What makes you say that, dad?”

Dad: “Well, a couple of them said, doesn’t it bother you, to see your daughter in the paper wearing only her underwear?”

Me: “Oh.”

Dad: “How narrow-minded is that! They just don’t get it, do they? Idiots.”

Me: “You’re awesome, dad.”

I was reminded of this conversation when I read Aerial Amy's blog about her parents' reaction to her awesome booty shaking tutorial (check it out here).

My grandmother is also a great supporter and promoter of my pole dancing. She’s quite a tech-savvy grandmother, and whenever she comes to watch one of my shows, and always records them on her digicam, to play back for me later. She takes photos too, and then emails the photos and videos to her elderly cousins and relatives in Switzerland, boasting about her granddaughter the pole dancer and lawyer. I’m sure that my unknown Swiss relatives are quite bemused by the emails they get from Down Under. 

And of course, in every family there is the problem of the weird uncle who is overly interested in your pole dancing pursuits and wishes to discuss them with you in detail at every opportunity. 

Personal grooming

Getting halfway through a pole performance and being struck by the sudden realization that you did not tend to you lady garden that morning is horrifying. All I can say on this topic is: laser hair removal. A God send for us pole dancers. Expensive, yes, but think of it as an investment in your sanity. 

Hitting the dance floor

I cannot join other civilians dancing at family or kid-friendly events anymore.  I stand shyly against the wall and watch longingly while everyone else carves it up on the dance floor. This is because a side-effect of pole dancing is that you become so immune to sexy dancing that you’re no longer sure what’s appropriate.  

Example of inappropriate dance floor
behaviour at civilian gatherings.

The problem of not knowing how to dance like a civilian is particularly obvious at weddings and birthday parties, when booty shaking, fish flops and splits on the dancer floor aren’t acceptable.  Really – they’re not. Don’t argue with me on this one. Just take my word for it.

I decided to stop dancing at weddings after I saw this photo. 

Rough skin

I once went to brush the hair out of my eyes with my hand and scratched the skin of my face with the callouses on the palm of my hand. I’m not kidding. There was blood, and it hurt. 

Other side-effects of callouses:

• any massage you give is less of a sensual experience for the recipient and more of an exfoliation;
• you put ladders in your stockings as soon as you put them on, but you can’t be sure if the ladders are from the callouses on your hands, the back of your knees, or the inside of your thighs;
• people give you funny looks when you shake hands for the first time (unless the other person is also a pole dancer, in which case the feeling of a callous on a callous becomes almost like a secret society handshake).

Miscellaneous problems

• Being allergic to chrome. Imagine what this must be like for a pole teacher! It’s like being allergic to your office desk. Lou Landers can tell you all about it – but take heart - she doesn’t let it hold her back, and neither should you. 
• Waking up every day feeling like you’ve been hit by a truck until you’ve had a long hot shower to coax your muscles into cooperation. 
• Say goodbye to prettily pedicured toes. Pole dancing ruins pedicures. Unless you do as I have done in the below pic.

Conclusion

So there you have a list of pole dancer problems. It’s not an easy life. I think it’s important for us to all support each other through the travails of our profession. Remember that you are not alone in the daily struggles you face. 

But who am I kidding, right? All of the above just adds to the fun of it.

I FREAKIN LOVE POLE DANCING!!!!

Shimmy xx

www.michelleshimmy.com

PS Feel free to add your "Pole Dancer Problems" below :-)

A Survivor's Guide to Pole Competitions

Everything you need to know to survive a pole competition... (and maybe even enjoy it)


Why am I doing this to myself??
You're sitting backstage in your sequinned bikini, waiting for your name to be called. You've broken out in a cold sweat all over your body - except for your palms, which are hot and sweaty. You apply another coat of Dry Hands. Now your hands are slimy. You wish they were as dry as your mouth, which is causing you problems swallowing.

You take a deep breath, realising that you are close to hyperventilating. You want to throw up. You start to question your sanity. You wonder whether your decision to enter a pole competition is actually a symptom of latent sado-masochism. Perhaps you should seek professional treatment. You wonder why in God's name you are putting yourself through this.

Then your name is called. You step onstage in to the bright lights, and hear the crowd roar. You hope that your muscle memory will carry you through the next 3-5 minutes, because you're pretty sure your brain won't be much use. You can hear the crowd cheering your name. You're doing it!

Then it's all over in a flash. You step off stage gasping for breath, staggering in your stripper heels, reaching for water as you collapse on the floor... You did it! And more than that - you want to go again!

Welcome to the roller coaster of emotions that is competitive pole dancing. It's pretty addictive.

Taking the plunge... Entering your first competition 
I remember in vivid detail the first time I entered a pole comp. I thought long and hard about it before entering. Was I ready? Would people laugh? Would my costume fall off? After a fair bit of agonising, I decided to do it.

It was Miss Pier Hotel, Amateur Division. I had a pink and leopard print bikini, some false eyelashes and my shoes (this was back in the old days when no one dreamed of performing pole barefoot). I packed my bag with everything I needed, shanghai-ed my friend Laura in to coming along to support me, and drove to the Pier Hotel.

As soon as we parked the car I began to experience heart palpitations, which only worsened when I walked in the door of the hotel. All I could see was a blur of fluorescent road-worker vests.

For those of you unfamiliar with the illustrious Miss Pier Hotel comp, let me explain. The venue is not the sort of place a self-respecting lady would usually go for a drink. Its customers are usually salt of the earth, bearded, tattooed, hard-drinking, hard-living characters. I was absolutely terrified.  I turned around so fast I nearly knocked my friend Laura over. But Laura stood firm - both literally and figuratively - she would not let me back out of the comp. She wanted to see me do my stuff.

So, I agreed, in spite of my rising anxiety at the thought of performing in front of this particular crowd. Here's a photo to give you an idea of how classy this venue is - check out the guys in the background. I should probably point out that this photo was not taken at my first comp - as you can see, by the time this pic was taken, I'd grown more comfortable in this environment ;-).

Anyway, I was absolutely terrified. But it was great. I had a blast. It all went just fine - the crowd loved it and I ended up winning my division. And I became addicted to competing from that moment on.

Competition Tips
1. Make a list 
In the weeks building up to the competition, make a list of all the things you think you might need on the day. Some essentials are:
- grip aids (put your name on them to avoid confusion backstage)
- costume (both pieces - top and bottom - seriously, double check that you have both pieces!)
- DOUBLE SIDED TAPE! Essential. The last thing you want to be worried about is whether you're giving the audience more than they paid for.
- music (check whether you need it on CD or iPod. If CD, bring two copies, with your name on them - just in case)
- stripper shoes if you're wearing them, and if not, a pair of thongs (or flip-flops for the Americans) to keep your feet clean before you go onstage if you're dancing barefoot
- baby wipes (to clean your feet, and wipe yourself down if you get a bit sweaty)
- make up for touch ups
- bottle of water and snacks
- a wheelie bag to put all your stuff in, maybe with a lock on it, if you're performing somewhere without a secure backstage area.  That way you can throw everything in your bag at the end of the night, lock it, and put it somewhere safe so you can go dance and celebrate the end of the competition.


2. Backstage étiquette

Try to avoid at all costs:
- Diva behaviour. That means no tantrums, no sulking, no hysterics - even if you have a disastrous performance and your costume falls off.
- Fighting with other contestants. Not cool.
- Attempts at "psyching out" other contestants by talking about how amazing your routine is. By the same token, don't lie and say you haven't rehearsed at all, and then bust out a phenomenal performance.
- Do not walk off-stage after your show and announce "THE POLE IS SO SLIPPERY!! WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE!!"
- Ignoring other contestants when they try to talk to you.

Good behaviour:
- Being friendly, warm and respectful to other contestants.
- Sharing. If someone is in a panic and has forgotten their Dry Hands, offer to share yours.
- Wishing contestants good luck, and asking them how they went when they come off stage.

You're all in it together, so you may as well try to have as much fun as you can together on the night.

Announcements and Prize Giving

And now for the moment everyone has been waiting for... You're holding your breath, hoping your name will be called.

If it is called, be gracious in victory. You might want to avoid:
- fist pumping;
- hooting and hollering;
- show boating;
- over the top displays of excitement.

Even though you are justifiably over the moon at having won, be sensitive to the fact the other contestants onstage are probably feeling very disappointed. All your hard work has paid off, but all the others (who have probably worked just as hard) have just had their dreams crushed.

If you lose, take it with dignity. Don't be a sore loser. And wait til you get home before you start ranting about how you were robbed - even if you, your friends, your mum and your dad are all certain that you were ;-)

Some tips from the Pro's
I asked around a bit for some tips and helpful suggestions from some seasoned competitors. Here's what they had to say.

Amber Ray:

"Get some extra classes in before the comp in dance and gymnastics, don't just stick to pole. And practise your game face in front of a mirror, that alone can make or break a performance."

Hanka Venselaar
"Training is important...but it's even more important to listen to your body and take enough rest.... I found out the hard way..." (Hanka fell ill after training too hard for a competition).

Natasha Wang
"Finalize your routine choreography AT LEAST 3 weeks before the competition date so you can spend the last weeks running your routine over and over and over, with the last week in costume. These last few weeks are when you start baking in those important nuances, like facial expressions, emotion, storytelling, and when you perfect details such as making sure tricks are angled correctly to the audience, floor passes start and end on the correct parts of the stage, etc."

Marlo Fisken
"Make sure to choreograph time to just "be" in your routine. Moments of nothing are often the most beautiful, and many routines are too jam packed to let the natural flow come out.
Being on stage will often make you rush, so practice...."

Lolo Hilsum

"My advice is to do your choreography alone. Because the dance is one identity, some feelings, one personality. And it is very important to make a story. When I build my choreo, I have a lot of images in my mind and each movement has a meaning.  I was alone when I started pole dancing and I really do it for myself. So I didn't wish anything except to live my passion."

And my tips... (even though I admit that unfortunately I'm not always enough in control of my nerves to follow my own advice!)
I try to treat each competition like a performance, and to forget that there will be winners and losers at the end of the night. I figure that really, you're only competing with yourself, and I take each competition as an opportunity to train my bottom off. I'm always amazed at how much stronger and more flexible I feel after a competition, and that's why I do them.

When conceptualising and choreographing a routine, stay true to yourself and your own style. If you try to create a routine based on what you think the judges want, there's no guarantee that you'll win, and then you'll just have a performance that you didn't really believe in. Challenge yourself with a difficult routine, but if a move's not working, ditch it. Try to rest the day before the comp.

On the night, stretch really well before your performance. The adrenaline will make you feel stronger and more flexible, but you can still injure yourself if you don't warm up properly. When you're onstage, keep your facial expressions alive - don't go on robotic autopilot - and finish off every move before attempting the next one. In my experience, you have to put 150% effort in onstage for it to look like you're giving it 60%, so you really have to put your all in to it.

And finally... Enjoy it! You've worked so hard, you should take a second before you go on to congratulate yourself for all the effort you've put in. It's your moment - let yourself have some fun onstage!

And to finish...

Lastly, I wanted to share something that pole artist Timber Brown wrote. I think it accurately describes a competitor's final seconds before stepping onstage.

"The lights are warm. My hands tremble. I pray that they will do the same thing that they have done in the countless rehearsals that have depicted this moment so many times before. There are no guarantees. Will harmony find it's way into my life right now? That perfect place that is the crux of mind, body, and every external factor in between. I use my final two seconds to prepare for my five minutes of fame..." 

Gulp. Take a deep breath. It's your time to shine. 

Shimmy xx

The War is Over! Make peace with your body.

I love my body. It's awesome. It does some amazing things. It's strong, bendy, and transports me wherever I need to go. Amazingly, it even heals itself, given enough time. There are a couple of things I would like it to do better, but I know that if I'm patient with it, feed it the right stuff, take care of it and treat it right, my body will improve on the things I want it to. I have a strong respect for my body, and a huge amount of gratitude that it lets me do so many of the crazy things I want it to.

These days, although there are definitely some things I would like to improve, I feel like my body is an old friend. I know everything about it, its strengths and weaknesses, and I love it the way it is. I feel like we've come so far together that anything else would be nothing more than disloyalty. I'm working on improving the things I want to change, but I don't beat myself up when I don't get the results that I wanted.

I know that it might seem easy for me to say these things. After all, I'm a professional pole dancer, and I train pretty much every single day. But I think that everyone accepts that for most women, there's pretty much no link between how your body looks and how you feel about it. It's always the women who seem to have it all who are the most insecure, right? It's easy to be harsher on yourself than you would ever be to anyone else. In fact, if you overheard a stranger saying out loud to another woman the things that you say to yourself about your own body, you'd be horrified. You'd probably even leap to the poor woman's defence. But I'm guessing you have no problem berating yourself for all your body's shortcomings, real or imaginary.

There's nothing wrong with setting goals and working towards them. I'm not talking about giving up on self-improvement altogether. Maybe you do need to lose weight, gain weight, exercise more, exercise less, or change your eating habits. I'm talking about curbing the self-hatred and disgust that we women seem to heap upon ourselves so readily. I'm talking about learning to respect and love your body for what it can do for you, and to begin taking care of it in the way it deserves.

As a pole instructor, I come into contact with women from all walks of life. When I first began teaching pole, one thing that surprised me was that the women who I thought were in great shape were the ones who were most likely to be unjustifiably mean to themselves. These are the women who refuse point-blank to wear shorts, because, they joke, they wouldn't want to inflict such a sight on the other women in the class. Then they begin to list all the things that are wrong with their bodies. Even though they're making jokes about it, I can always sense the pain and shame they feel. It makes me so sad.

But one of the most beautiful (even miraculous) things about pole is the liberating effect it has on women. I don't know what it is - the all-female environment, the support and encouragement of fellow classmates, the gradual strengthening of previously unknown muscles, the joyous discovery that you are capable of flipping yourself upside down and hanging from one leg in ways you haven't done since you were a kid in the playground - or maybe it's a combination of all of the above?

Whatever it is, it works. I've seen women come to their first pole class in ankle length leggings; women who swear blind that they would never dare to wear shorts. Then, as term progresses, gradually the leggings get shorter. Eventually, they will come up to the front desk and ask shyly about the price of our booty shorts. When they put them on and head back into class, I always play it cool, but on the inside I'm cheering, and I feel so proud I think I might burst.

Our bodies are nothing to be ashamed of. They are marvellous instruments. It's ok to want to work on your body, to be the best that you can be, but it shouldn't involve the degree of self-loathing and disgust that so many women inflict upon themselves.

Take a look at your body right now. You're probably sitting down. Look at your legs. They're just hanging out, waiting for you to tell them where to go next, so they can do exactly as you ask, no problem. Look at your arms. They might be a bit wobbly when you wave to someone as they leave, but they can also carry you up the pole and support your entire body weight (it's true - whether or not you've had the joy of learning that yet). Look at your tummy. It might be squishier than you want it to be. Maybe that's because you've popped out a couple of little ones, in which case it's the amazing cubby house that kept your babies safe while at their most vulnerable. And now look over your whole body - while you're sitting there, thinking terrible things about it, it's just ticking away, doing all the work it needs to do to keep you alive, without you even asking it to. It's an extraordinary machine.

Pole dance taught me to love my body. It wasn't always so. As a teenager in high school, like many other girls my age, I developed what I guess was a borderline eating disorder. It was never full blown anorexia, but I became obsessed with controlling and restricting the food that I ate. I remember so well all the horrible feelings that went along with it. The secrecy, the anger, the self-loathing, the inability to escape my obsession. It stayed with me well into my twenties, on and off. I thought I would never truly be rid of it. I knew so many other girls who were exactly the same as me, whether they admitted it or not, so I came to think it was normal.

Pole dance set me free. It gave me new confidence and an appreciation of my body's capabilities. I stopped dieting. I learnt to stop being suspicious of my body, and began to listen to it, and trust it. Nowadays, I eat when I'm hungry, and I eat real food, not processed "fat-free" or "sugar-free" stuff that's made from who knows what. I'm no longer ashamed of my body. I'm proud of it and all the things it can do. I don't pole dance to stay in shape. I don't even think about that anymore. I just love pole and the feeling of strength and freedom that it brings me.

I'm not saying that to be happy with yourself you need to dance around a pole in your underwear (although it sure worked for me!). I guess I'm just saying that I hope that more women can find a way to un-learn the bad habits we pick up in our teenage years. You and your body are a great team. Especially if you can work together to achieve your goals, rather than on opposite sides of the battle field.

We came into this world with no sense that there was anything shameful or wrong with our bodies. Somewhere along the way we lost that. But that doesn't mean we can't try to get it back.

So. I propose the following. Write a love letter to your own body. Tell it how you feel. Tell it all the things it needs to hear, and if there are a few relationship issues you need to work through, be as subtle and gentle about it as you would with your lover. Here, I'll show you mine to get you started...

Dear Shimmy's Body,

Have I told you lately that I love you? That I really, really appreciate all that you do for me? Like how you just keep on with the breathing and the heart-beating even when I'm not telling you to. And how the more we work at it, the stronger and more flexible you get, even though I know that sometimes it hurts you to do so. I promise I won't push you beyond your capabilities (but let's see if we can go just a little bit further, hey?).

I know I've had some views in the past about the small boobs issue, but heck, who cares. I just want you to know that it's not really a big deal. And when I joke about having man arms, I hope you don't take it personally. I guess I'm just a bit self-conscious about them sometimes.

I'm sorry about all the nonsense you had to put up with over the years. I feel like now we're at a really good place, and I promise to keep working hard to respect you and treat you right.

Keep up the good work!

Love,
Shimmy xxx 

And here is one from my sister Maddie:

Dear Maddie's body,

I just wanted to tell you how much I appreciate everything you do for me. I love that you love the splits and are helping me again rather then fighting about it every time. I promise I will be more gentle in future. I love you very much and hope that together we can get much much stronger. I promise to take you to the doctor again so we can sort out my sore head and fix the migraines. I just want you to know that even if we never get any stronger or any more flexible I will always love you and am proud of everything we have done together. 

I will try to stop filling you with alcohol (after this Sunday) and eat better food so you don't feel tired.

xx

Maddie  

Have fun writing yours!

Shimmy xxx

A Useful Guide to Understanding Your Friendly Pole Dancer

There have been a few of those Shit Pole Dancers Say videos going around lately (including one we made at the Pole Dance Academy). It got me thinking about how united we are worldwide in our weird pole dancer quirks. So I thought I would put together a little guide of essentials to understanding the ins and outs of pole dancers. Enjoy :-)

Tip 1: Must Love Cats
It seems that every second pole dancing clip on YouTube features a kitty cat swirling in between the ankles of her pole dancing mum. The pole dancer's kitty is usually staunchly opposed to pole dancing, especially when it steals attention away from more pressing demands, such as tending to the kitty's needs. More proactive kitties also engage the "pounce and attack" technique while mum is mid-swing through the air, in an attempt by the kitty to redirect attention away from the pole and back to its furry little self. NB: if this is a technique your kitty uses, take advantage of it by blaming the kitteh for your failure to make your phoenix. Miaow.


Tip 2: Must be on Facebook/Youtube
If a pole dancer deadlifts and no one on Facebook sees it, does she make a sound? Who knows, who cares - what's important is that if you don't post about it or boast about it on Facebook, it never happened.

Tip 2: The Polegasm 
Polegasm (noun): a series of intensely pleasurable waves throughout the entire body that a pole dancer experiences when achieving a difficult move for the first time. Multiple polegasms are known to occur if the move is new, or if a group of pole dancers are present to witness the event. The best way to prolong the polegasm experience is to post about it on Facebook (see Tip 2).

This term I believe was originally coined by Ms Billie of Sydney, Australia, and we thank her for so succinctly describing what we have all experienced.

Tip 3: The Pole Crush
The Pole Crush is a phenomenon commonly experienced by most, if not all, pole dancers. It consists of unreasoning devotion bordering on stalker-like behaviour, and is a typical reaction to close contact with any of the following pole dancer specimens:

• Jenyne Butterfly
• Felix Cane
• Alethea Austin
• Zoraya Judd
• Oona Kivela
• Natasha Wang
• Anastasia Skukhtorova
• Alesia Vazmitsel
• Jamilla Deville
• Amber Ray
• Marlo Fisken
• Pantera
• Fawnia Dietrich
• And so on.

The list of potential Pole Crush Objects is longer than that set out above, and highly individual. Symptoms of Pole Crush include: inane and uncontrollable giggling, blushing, tendency to say stupid things (or, worse, complete inability to say or do anything at all, other than dumbstruck goldfish-like gawping), insistence on being photographed with the Pole Crush Object (no matter how sweaty and dishevelled you look after a long workshop), paying ridiculous amounts of money for the privilege of looking uncoordinated in workshops with the Pole Crush, dying of happiness when the Pole Crush likes one of your facebook posts... and many more. 

To date, no known cure is available for the Pole Crush. 

Tip 4: Must Have Highly Developed Stalker Abilities
Your average pole dancer knows more about other pole dancers living in other countries than s/he knows about their next door neighbour. Pole dancers have stalking abilities that would impress an FBI agent. I bet you can pass the following quiz easily, without even having to check:

1. Alethea Austin's favourite drink?
2. Felix Cane's signature tattoo?
3. Jenyne Butterfly's city of residence?
4. Zoraya Judd's husband's name?
5. The name of your Pole Crush's pet? 

Tip 4 is essential in satisfying your obligations under Tip 3. 

Tip 5: Must Have an Encyclopaedic Knowledge of Every Pole Move Performed Since the Dawn of Time

I bet you can remember who first performed the Spatchcock, and who is responsible for the Deville/Jade split, even if you have trouble remembering your own phone number or your dad's birthday.

Tip 6: Fiercely held Pole Principles

The pole dancer has his/her beliefs, and will stick to them, no matter how persuasive your arguments. These include:

1. Pole dancing should ALWAYS be done in stripper shoes.
2. Pole dancing should NEVER be done in stripper shoes.
3. Gymnastics has no place in pole dance. 
4. Contemporary dance has no place in pole dance.  
5. Stripper style dance is superior.
6. Stripper style dance is the history of pole dance. Contemporary pole is the future. 
7. You're not a "real dancer" if you only have pole training. 
8. Pole should be in the Olympics.
9. Pole should NEVER be in the Olympics!
10. Boys should be welcomed. 
11. NO BOYS!!! Well, maybe only gay boys. Maybe. If they behave. 

So on some topics, we're as conflicted as we are united on others. Fortunately, it seems we're all ok with agreeing to disagree. For now. 

Tip 7: A Rose by Any Other Name...

Pole dancers experience a sense of smug satisfaction when they discover what their pole friends' real names are... Wait, you mean to say that her mother didn't have the foresight to actually name her Crystal Light Rainflower?? Her real name is Gertrude Richardson?? Wow. 

Tip 8: Irrational distrust of all other forms of exercise

By and large, pole dancers tend to resist fiercely all other forms of exercise, including running, going to the gym, and anything that involves cardio, really. But that's only because all forms of physical exertion other than pole dance are well known to be inferior and not worthy of our time. 

Tip 9: The Pole Nemesis

The Pole Nemesis is the antithesis to the Pole Crush. The Pole Nemesis is that one pole dancer in your studio, a different studio, or even in a different country, who just bugs you for no apparent reason. If great care is not taken, the pole dancer can become convinced that everything the Pole Nemesis does is intentionally done just to bug the pole dancer. There is no rational foundation for this condition, and as with Tip 3, there is no known cure. 

Tip 10: Drunk pole dancing in public 

While sober, pole dancers will try to eliminate the possibility of drunken pole dancing in public ("alcopoling") by employing one of the following strategies while dressing for a night out:

1. wearing stockings;
2. wearing long pants;
3. wearing a g-string so skimpy that even when drunk the pole dancer will be less inclined to invert publicly;
4. publicly stating that certain venues with poles are off-limits.

Of course, after a few drinks are consumed, stockings/pants come off, full briefs are borrowed from friends, and prior statements retracted - woohoo let's climb those poles, biatchezzzz!!! Yeeeehaaaa!!

Drunk pole dancing in public is always followed by a bout of Public Pole Dancer's Remorse the next day. Unfortunately the intensity of the remorse is never sufficient to prevent future incidents of Drunk Pole Dancing in Public.

Miscellaneous Tips
Your pole dancer is also likely to:

• be intensely proud of his/her bruises;
• want to climb street signs and be photographed doing so;
• challenge boys in bars to push up contests;
• have the disgusting habit of peeling callouses in public;
• own a large collection of dress shorts;
• shudder when s/he estimates how much of his/her income is spent on pole dancing;
• justify that it's much better to spend money on pole dancing than on alcohol and drugs;
• know exactly what s/he is looking for in the crotch of a pair of knickers; and
• plan significant life events and holidays around important dates in the pole calendar; and
• be able to walk, dance and run in stripper heels, but struggle to stay upright in regular high heels.  

So there you have it - a few tips on understanding the Pole Dancer. Please feel free to add your own below :-)

Shimmy xx

On being a feminist and a pole dancer

I am a feminist. And a pole dancer. To many people, this statement may seem to be a contradiction in terms, but it's not. It may be a little tricky to explain, and a little different from the standard views of what feminism is all about, but nonetheless, it is possible to be a feminist pole dancer. It's a topic I've dwelt on for a long time now, and I think I'm finally ready to share my views. Deep breath. 

I first began to think about the happy coexistence of my feminism and pole dancing about a year ago, when a local newspaper did a story on my studio. The article focused on a competition I was about to compete in, and on how pole dance was becoming more popular as a form of fitness. The article was accompanied by photos of me doing my thing on the pole. A few weeks later, there was an article in another newspaper about a Lynx publicity stunt involving bikini-clad girls in hot tubs in the city (or something like that). Under the article, there was the following reader comment:

"ah yes...objecting to women's being objectifed because we're 'just jealous'.

Just the other week there was an article in the Wenworth Courier about a woman named Michelle Shimmy who teaches pole dancing and has recently won a competition in this art. There were numerous pictures of her in a skimpy costume performing some fairly graphic moves on a pole.

The article also stated that she was a full time lawyer when not teaching or performing pole dancing.

I just don't know what to think about this. I am so confused, and for some reason I could not just let it go, it;s been bugging me....of course, because I am a lawyer too, friends said I had problems with it because I can't also turn men on and am not a pretty girl doing crazy sexy pole dancing, "Just jealous", If she had been doing those same moves in a gynmastics competition in a leotard I think I would have been utterly awestruck but somehow, seeing her in a sequin bikini and the whole 'I'm a lawyer too!' thing seemed impossibly cheap and nasty, despite the skill involved. Whether you like it or not pole dancing's origins are in the sexual titilation field. Anyway I admit to having been very conflicted over this piece of news.

woman | "

Reading this comment surprised me for a number of reasons. Firstly, because the writer uses me as an example to back up her arguments about what "objectification of women" means, in her view. Even though she's never taken one of my classes, never been to one of my shows, or even met me (as far as I'm aware). 

The next thing that struck me about her comment was her obvious confusion and inability to process what she sees as two conflicting and mutually exclusive types of people: the lawyer and the pole dancer. In other words, lawyer = good, moral person, pole dancer = bad, immoral person. How can the two possibly coexist in one single being? Reading her comment, you can almost hear her brain straining as she tries to imagine such an oxymoron. 

The writer of the comment obviously found the sequined bikini offensive. Which made me wonder which part was more offensive, the sequins, or the bikini? She says that if I had have been wearing a gymnastics leotard, it would have been ok, and she would have been "awestruck." As rhythmic gymnasts' leotards are often sparkly and sequined, I assume that she must be ok with that. So is it the bikini? I wonder, how does she feel about female competitors in beach volleyball, or triathlons, or even female tennis players on hot days? Maybe it's the combination of the sparkles and the bikini that was too much for her.  I hope she doesn't live near Bondi Beach. Or Oxford Street. And for God's sake, keep her away from the streets of Rio de Janeiro at Carneval time! 

The next thing I found interesting was this: 

seeing her in a sequin bikini and the whole 'I'm a lawyer too!' thing seemed impossibly cheap and nasty, despite the skill involved.

Ouch... I still wince when I read that. At first, I wanted to interpret that to mean that in her view, the fact that I'm a lawyer had cheapened the otherwise beautiful display of dance and art for her. But I know that it was the other way around. In her eyes, pole dancers are cheap and nasty, but lawyers aren't (even though I'm sure many people out there would disagree with that!).

Ahem. Lawyers vs pole dancers. Let me put it this way: over the years I have met many pole dancers, male and female (but mostly female), who have inspired me with their dedication, support for each other, strength, passion, grace, beauty and plain old commitment to hard work, in spite of the pain and the injuries. I can't say the same for most of the lawyers I have met (no offence to the good ones I know!).  

Finally, her comment that:

Whether you like it or not pole dancing's origins are in the sexual titilation field. Anyway I admit to having been very conflicted over this piece of news.

As a matter of fact, I do like it that the origins of pole dancing are in the "sexual titilation field" (sic). I have no problem with the sensuality or even sexuality common to many pole dance performances, for the same reason I don't see a problem with belly dance, tango, samba, salsa, zouk, contemporary dance, burlesque etc. They are all expressions of human emotion and feeling, and as a lover of dance and performance, I love it all. I think if anyone were to suggest that tango was disgusting because of its origins, or because of its blatant sensuality, they would be laughed at. I have always wondered, would pole dance be less offensive to its decriers if the same moves were performed by a man and a woman together, as in adagio? Or a man on his own? If so, is the real reason why it makes some people so uncomfortable is that it's a woman expressing sensuality on her own? 

It would probably surprise the writer of the comment to learn that the overwhelming majority of attendees at pole dance competitions and performances are women. The men who are there are usually the partners of the women coming to watch. Of course, some men go on their own or with their mates, either out of interest, or to enjoy watching a woman dance on a pole in a skimpy outfit. But, writer of the comment, before you cry "A-ha! I knew it! See, men enjoy watching pole dancing, therefore it must objectify women and be bad!", let me point out that no one tries to use that argument about trapeze artists, gymnasts, contortionists, or contemporary dancers. A recent Sydney Dance Company production had its performers dancing in skin-coloured costumes that made them look naked. You didn't see the audience shuffling in from a dimly lit side entrance, embarrassed to look at each other. In that context, it seems it's perfectly fine to admit that you enjoy watching a toned and sculpted body dance onstage for your pleasure. Because it's art. So that makes it ok to look, and to admit that you like what you see. 

The fact that heterosexual men may enjoy watching a pole dance performance I give for its sex factor doesn't bother me. Same as it hasn't bothered me when I've performed for a lesbian crowd. I don't think there is anything wrong with human sexuality or sensuality, and there is nothing wrong with enjoying watching expressions of human sexuality and sensuality on stage. No one is forcing me or my fellow pole dancers to do what we do - we enjoy it and we enjoy the fact that other people enjoy it. In any event, after pretty well every single performance I have ever done, the comments I've received afterwards from male members of the audience are mostly about how much strength we pole dancers must have to be able to do what we do (mostly ;-) ).

But sensual pole dance is only one style of pole dance. There are many others - circus, acro, tricks based, contemporary, lyrical, theatrical... you are limited only by your imagination (which is quite limiting for some people, it seems).  

As for her claim that pole dancing objectifies women and therefore women should not pole dance, this is not the first time that I've been confronted with this argument. I've given it a fair amount of thought, to try to identify more clearly why it is that this argument bothers me so much.

And I've finally figured it out: if you can't watch a display of athleticism, strength, flexibility and sensuality without perceiving the dancer as an object, then you're the one with the problem, not us. We don't need to stop what we're doing because it makes you face your own views of what "good girls" should and shouldn't do, or because it makes you feel uncomfortable. If you don't like it, don't watch it. That's fine. But if you haven't watched it or tried it, then maybe you shouldn't be judging it, or us.

For me, feminism is about empowering women to be free in our choices of what we want to do with our lives, and how we want to express ourselves. It's not about telling other women what they can and can't do. There may well be situations where for some women, pole dance is inextricably linked with stripping, which for them is oppressive. However, there are plenty of women who pole dance and even strip out of their own free will, and enjoy it. We should be focusing our efforts fighting the agents that create situations of oppression for women, rather than an activity that many people healthily enjoy for many different reasons.  

A final comment: it is very rare for female strength to be celebrated. Most girls and women just want to be thin, and think that that is the only way to be attractive. Pole dance requires a phenomenal amount of strength, flexibility, stamina and endurance. Let's recognise pole dancers for their skill and ability, and stop putting them down. It's pretty clear to me that the people who claim to have moral objections to pole dance need to examine more closely their own hang-ups and views about what women should and shouldn't do.

Rant over. Ahhhh..... That feels better :-)

Shimmy xx

Engagement parties, weddings, baby showers and pole dancing

Engagement parties, weddings, baby showers and international pole dancing competitions... one of these things is definitely not like the others.

There are certain events that occur in most people's lives that are traditionally celebrated as important milestones. Significant birthdays, engagements, weddings, baby showers, the baby's arrival, the christening, first birthday, wedding anniversaries etc. I'm at the age when most of my (non-pole dancing) friends have either already ticked off a number of these milestones, or are well on their way to doing so. Whenever I go to one of these events to celebrate a life achievement with one of my friends, I always think of that episode of Sex and the City, where Carrie's shoes go missing at a friend's party.

(In case you haven't seen it, here's a quick synopsis - when leaving the party at her friend's house, Carrie is devastated to find her expensive shoes are not where she left them. After much hinting on Carrie's part, the friend reluctantly offers to replace them, but then baulks when Carrie tells her how much they cost. The friend shames Carrie for spending so much money on the shoes. Carrie sits down and calculates how much she has spent on gift-giving over the years to celebrate the friend's life choices, and realises it is a small fortune. Carrie decides to announce she is engaged to herself, and sends the friend her bridal registry - with one item only on it: the shoes she lost. The friend, taking Carrie's point, obliges. Carrie is happy).


I'm reminded of this episode because sometimes I feel a bit like Carrie at these sorts of celebrations. So far, I've resisted the urge to travel down the well-trodden path of betrothal and procreation. Even though I've been with my partner for 8 years now, we remain unmarried and baby-free (much to my grandmother's sorrow). It's not that I'm opposed to marriage and babies, quite the opposite in fact - I'm the first to cry at weddings and I adore children and can't wait to be asked to babysit my friends' rug-rats. I don't know that I will ever get married, but one day in the more distant future I probably will have kids (but I'm not making any definitive statements -  after all, motherhood is often only one careless boozy night away...).

But back to the title of this blog post. Being an unwedded non-breeder has started to make me feel like a bit of a black sheep in certain social settings, particularly when people ask me what I've been up to lately.  I've noticed that my announcements ("I'm going to the World Pole Championships! We came third! I'm going to the IPC in Hong Kong! I did a fun show at a gay and lesbian nightclub the other night with one of my male pole dancer friends - and we rocked it!) seem to make some people feel a bit uncomfortable. More often than not, the reaction seems to be a few awkward sideways glances, a tight smile, and a change of subject.

Certainly, you can't compare the significance of the arrival of new life on this planet with a pole competition or performance. And publicly announcing that you are tying your life and fortunes to your loved one in marriage is also a big deal (but I will point out that in the time I've been with my boyfriend, I've seen relationships begin, marriages take place, and divorce papers filed, so... ummm.... ahem).

I just want to say that even though I don't have any rings on my fingers, bells on my toes or buns in the oven, things still happen to me that are important to me. When my friends say to me "We're getting married!", I reply "Oh my goodness! That's wonderful!", and dammit - I want the same reaction when I announce "I came second in a competition for my booty shaking pole show!" (after all, I'm sure anyone who's tried both will tell you booty shaking combined with pole is a LOT harder than getting knocked up).

Or maybe I'm just taking the wrong approach. Maybe what I need to do is to take a leaf out of Carrie's book, and start throwing myself afternoon tea parties or cocktail soirees every time something I consider to be a significant milestone event for me occurs. I'm laughing to myself now even as I think about the invitations:

Fiona and David would be delighted to have the pleasure of your company to celebrate their daughter Shimmy's winning of the Miss Pier Hotel competition, for her spectacularly saucy performance to Lithium by Nirvana. The crowd went wild and so will you when she does a repeat performance for you. RSVP essential. Dress: Cocktail. Registry details are available at David Jones.   

I wonder if anyone would come???

Shimmy xx

PS Lou Lou I know you and Dee would come. Love you xxx

Your boyfriend must love it that you're a pole dancer...

If I had a dollar for every time someone has said "your boyfriend must LOVE it that you're a pole dancer," I'd have.... well, probably only around 80 bucks, but that's still enough to put it up there as one of the most common things people say to pole dancers, along with the time-honoured classic "hey baby, you can dance on my pole!"


I'm sure people imagine that going out with a pole dancer guarantees you wild, contortionist sex and private dances on demand. Maybe it is like that for some pole dancers. Maybe other pole dancers don't drag themselves through the front door after a class or performance, limping, smelling a little sweaty, make up smudged, false eyelashes a bit wonky, and either demand a deep tissue massage or go straight to the freezer for an ice pack. Maybe other pole dancers come home and put their cute pole costumes to good use, by pouncing on their partner in a frenzy of sexual pole dancer energy.


But I'm going to come clean here, in the interest of honest blogging, and put it out there: my boyfriend hates pole dancing.


It's not that he's against what I do. He's very happy that I'm so happy doing what I love. And it's not a jealousy thing either. I honestly can't believe how lucky I am to have a boyfriend who lets me perform the way I do in public, and never hassles me for being too, umm... provocative in my performances. He has one rule: no stripping (as in, taking clothes off is fine, so long as I at least keep a top and bottom on at all times, no matter how small). Which is fine because I have no need or desire to strip anyway.


I think that in the beginning, he was pretty into the idea of his girlfriend being a pole dancer. But his interest has definitely waned over the past five years of coming to watch my shows, being made to watch clips of me performing variations of moves that only a trained eye would know were different from each other, listening to pole-itical discussions about who should have won which competition, and having to sit through hours of pole analysis every time a pole dancer comes to stay at my house. Now, the second someone mentions the word pole, his eyes glaze over.


To be really honest, the whole issue of pole has at times been a real source of conflict in our relationship. I guess it's because I want him to love it as much as I do, but at the end of the day he just doesn't. For me, pole dance is the most inspirational, sensual, beautiful, athletic display of strength, flexibility and emotion. For him, it's a bunch of people jumping around a pole in their undies.


I've asked myself many times over the years, why doesn't my boyfriend appreciate pole? I think about whether or not I could handle watching endless football games if he were a professional football player. Although I hate watching football, I think that if he were playing, I would learn to appreciate it. But then maybe I wouldn't (I really do hate football).


I can freely admit that pole dance is not just my passion, but also my obsession. I think that obsession can be a double-edged sword - it provides you with the drive you need to achieve your dreams, but at the same time, it can isolate and frustrate you. Being in a relationship with a non-pole dancer means you have to make a real effort to avoid being swallowed by your obsession, or else risk having nothing at all to talk about with normal people. As a pole instructor, I've actually seen the topic of pole dance cause relationship break-ups amongst my students. It's almost like their partners no longer recognise their new, confident, pole dancing girlfriends - and some of them decide they don't like what they see.


It's not just female pole dancers who deal with this issue. One of my male students (and incredible performer) David Helman has a partner who is not a pole dancer. David says: 

"It was particularly hard when we first met, because he didn't understand why pole came first, and why if I didn't do it I would get cranky/sad/mad. He's gotten better and he’s now more supportive, but he still feels left out if I'm with a group of pole people and we talk about tricks and moves and performances etc. He still finds it difficult to understand that I’d rather spin on a pole than go out to a party. Also it doesn't help that sometimes he’s scared to touch me because I'm always in pain in some way! Especially when I dislocated my shoulder.”

To make it fair, I called David's partner, Steven, to get his view. Steven says:

"I appreciate the sport and his love for it, and I love that he loves it so much, but it definitely impacts on our relationship. If we’re out with a group of pole people, and they’re talking about pole, the conversation is often on a completely different level and I can’t understand a thing. They’ll be talking about pole tricks, and I’m thinking what the hell is a phoenix? Some kind of bird move? I don’t always want to ask what they’re talking about because then I feel like a kid sitting at the adult’s dinner table. Sometimes can deal with it, but other times I’ll throw a tanty and go home. David wants me to be involved, and I try, but I can’t always do it. It’s hard, but we find ways to make it work." 

On this topic, my sister Maddie has a pretty good perspective, I think. She says that just because you love two things doesn't mean that if you combine them they will work well together.  She says there's nothing wrong with keeping your loves separate. I think she's right about that. But obviously, it can be hard when you want to share your excitement with the person you love, only to find them staring blankly at you as though you were speaking a different language (which possibly we are).   

And then there's the Holy Grail of pole love - two pole dancers in love, training, performing, competing and instructing together... Can such a thing exist? It can, and it does, in Suzie Q and Toby J. Those of you who have seen their doubles pole or trapeze performances know what I'm talking about - it's so beautiful to see the trust, love and magic that they put in to every one of their performances. No doubt there's a lot of yelling and shouting that goes into their training sessions, but it must be worth it to share that thrilling moment onstage together when the crowd goes wild after a performance.


Suzie Q says: "I've dated pole dancers, and non-pole dancers. I definitely appreciate the fact that another pole dancer really "gets" what I do - because he does it too!"


And Toby J adds: "I like sharing performances together - I also think it enhances the trust levels in our relationship. Plus it makes for some cool party tricks when the two of us bust out something acrobatic!"


But if your boyfriend or girlfriend would sooner have their teeth extracted un-anaesthetised than consider performing on a pole in public, you're going to have to find some other way of making sure pole doesn't become the third wheel in your relationship. 

In the world beyond pole, it's often the case that women get a bit of a social status boost from the success of their husbands. In the UK and in Australia, cricket/football WAGs (the wives and girlfriends of cricket/football players) have their own status and celebrity, which they derive solely from how nice they look sitting on the sidelines while their other halves chase a ball around for large amounts of money. Although unfortunately it doesn't really work the other way around, I think pole boyfriends and husbands deserve their own title, just like the WAGs. Let's call them Polar-BAHs.


When I was at Worlds in 2011, I had a fair amount of time backstage to do nothing but stretch and wait.  During this time, I had a bit of a chat to Nic Judd, Zoraya's partner, who is possibly one of the most supportive Polar-BAHS in the pole industry (along with Suzie Q's partner Toby J, Jenyne's partner Andrew Ball, and probably a few others I don't know about). I asked him if he got sick of all the pole events he has had to go to. He surprised me by saying something along the lines of: 


"I don't care about pole dance. It's not my thing. It's her (Zoraya's) thing. But she's my passion, and pole dance is her passion, so I make it my thing."


I can't tell you how much what Nic said affected me. All I could think was, my God, I wish my boyfriend felt that way. 


But since then, I've come to realise that what works for others doesn't always work for everyone. My boyfriend doesn't enjoy attending pole dancing events, and I'm coming to accept that I can't, and shouldn't, try to force him. He may not love pole dance per se, but he's supportive of me, and he comes to all the big competitions to be there for me. Whenever he does compliment me on a performance, I know it means that I've really killed it, because he wouldn't say so otherwise. I remind myself that if he tried to drag me along to football games every weekend, I would probably explode. And I'm pretty certain that his aversion to pole dancing means I'll never bust him going to strip clubs with his boys. 


So, until the day comes when Polar-BAHs have their own special status as the privileged partners of pole dancers, I guess I will just have to accept that the reality of being a Polar-BAH is probably a bit of a drag for most of them, or at least my boyfriend. Having to share your lady with an inanimate metal rod must be pretty tough. Especially if he suspects that, judging by the amount of time she spends embracing it, she may be more devoted to the pole than she is to him!


To my boyfriend: I love you and thank you for the support you show me in my pole pursuits. I get that you don't get pole. That's ok. But darling, can't you just fake it a little bit from time to time? For me??? ;-)


Shimmy xx


PS As you can probably tell from this post, I'm still trying to work this topic out for myself. I'd be really interested in hearing how your Polar-BAHs cope with your love of pole - so please feel free to comment and share your own story/advice :-)