Monday, 13 February 2012

On being a feminist and a pole dancer

I am a feminist. And a pole dancer. To many people, this statement may seem to be a contradiction in terms, but it's not. It may be a little tricky to explain, and a little different from the standard views of what feminism is all about, but nonetheless, it is possible to be a feminist pole dancer. It's a topic I've dwelt on for a long time now, and I think I'm finally ready to share my views. Deep breath. 

I first began to think about the happy coexistence of my feminism and pole dancing about a year ago, when a local newspaper did a story on my studio. The article focused on a competition I was about to compete in, and on how pole dance was becoming more popular as a form of fitness. The article was accompanied by photos of me doing my thing on the pole. A few weeks later, there was an article in another newspaper about a Lynx publicity stunt involving bikini-clad girls in hot tubs in the city (or something like that). Under the article, there was the following reader comment:

"ah yes...objecting to women's being objectifed because we're 'just jealous'.
Just the other week there was an article in the Wenworth Courier about a woman named Michelle Shimmy who teaches pole dancing and has recently won a competition in this art. There were numerous pictures of her in a skimpy costume performing some fairly graphic moves on a pole.
The article also stated that she was a full time lawyer when not teaching or performing pole dancing.
I just don't know what to think about this. I am so confused, and for some reason I could not just let it go, it;s been bugging me....of course, because I am a lawyer too, friends said I had problems with it because I can't also turn men on and am not a pretty girl doing crazy sexy pole dancing, "Just jealous", If she had been doing those same moves in a gynmastics competition in a leotard I think I would have been utterly awestruck but somehow, seeing her in a sequin bikini and the whole 'I'm a lawyer too!' thing seemed impossibly cheap and nasty, despite the skill involved. Whether you like it or not pole dancing's origins are in the sexual titilation field. Anyway I admit to having been very conflicted over this piece of news.
woman | "

Reading this comment surprised me for a number of reasons. Firstly, because the writer uses me as an example to back up her arguments about what "objectification of women" means, in her view. Even though she's never taken one of my classes, never been to one of my shows, or even met me (as far as I'm aware). 

The next thing that struck me about her comment was her obvious confusion and inability to process what she sees as two conflicting and mutually exclusive types of people: the lawyer and the pole dancer. In other words, lawyer = good, moral person, pole dancer = bad, immoral person. How can the two possibly coexist in one single being? Reading her comment, you can almost hear her brain straining as she tries to imagine such an oxymoron. 

The writer of the comment obviously found the sequined bikini offensive. Which made me wonder which part was more offensive, the sequins, or the bikini? She says that if I had have been wearing a gymnastics leotard, it would have been ok, and she would have been "awestruck." As rhythmic gymnasts' leotards are often sparkly and sequined, I assume that she must be ok with that. So is it the bikini? I wonder, how does she feel about female competitors in beach volleyball, or triathlons, or even female tennis players on hot days? Maybe it's the combination of the sparkles and the bikini that was too much for her.  I hope she doesn't live near Bondi Beach. Or Oxford Street. And for God's sake, keep her away from the streets of Rio de Janeiro at Carneval time! 

The next thing I found interesting was this: 
seeing her in a sequin bikini and the whole 'I'm a lawyer too!' thing seemed impossibly cheap and nasty, despite the skill involved.

Ouch... I still wince when I read that. At first, I wanted to interpret that to mean that in her view, the fact that I'm a lawyer had cheapened the otherwise beautiful display of dance and art for her. But I know that it was the other way around. In her eyes, pole dancers are cheap and nasty, but lawyers aren't (even though I'm sure many people out there would disagree with that!).

Ahem. Lawyers vs pole dancers. Let me put it this way: over the years I have met many pole dancers, male and female (but mostly female), who have inspired me with their dedication, support for each other, strength, passion, grace, beauty and plain old commitment to hard work, in spite of the pain and the injuries. I can't say the same for most of the lawyers I have met (no offence to the good ones I know!).  

Finally, her comment that:
Whether you like it or not pole dancing's origins are in the sexual titilation field. Anyway I admit to having been very conflicted over this piece of news.

As a matter of fact, I do like it that the origins of pole dancing are in the "sexual titilation field" (sic). I have no problem with the sensuality or even sexuality common to many pole dance performances, for the same reason I don't see a problem with belly dance, tango, samba, salsa, zouk, contemporary dance, burlesque etc. They are all expressions of human emotion and feeling, and as a lover of dance and performance, I love it all. I think if anyone were to suggest that tango was disgusting because of its origins, or because of its blatant sensuality, they would be laughed at. I have always wondered, would pole dance be less offensive to its decriers if the same moves were performed by a man and a woman together, as in adagio? Or a man on his own? If so, is the real reason why it makes some people so uncomfortable is that it's a woman expressing sensuality on her own? 

It would probably surprise the writer of the comment to learn that the overwhelming majority of attendees at pole dance competitions and performances are women. The men who are there are usually the partners of the women coming to watch. Of course, some men go on their own or with their mates, either out of interest, or to enjoy watching a woman dance on a pole in a skimpy outfit. But, writer of the comment, before you cry "A-ha! I knew it! See, men enjoy watching pole dancing, therefore it must objectify women and be bad!", let me point out that no one tries to use that argument about trapeze artists, gymnasts, contortionists, or contemporary dancers. A recent Sydney Dance Company production had its performers dancing in skin-coloured costumes that made them look naked. You didn't see the audience shuffling in from a dimly lit side entrance, embarrassed to look at each other. In that context, it seems it's perfectly fine to admit that you enjoy watching a toned and sculpted body dance onstage for your pleasure. Because it's art. So that makes it ok to look, and to admit that you like what you see. 

The fact that heterosexual men may enjoy watching a pole dance performance I give for its sex factor doesn't bother me. Same as it hasn't bothered me when I've performed for a lesbian crowd. I don't think there is anything wrong with human sexuality or sensuality, and there is nothing wrong with enjoying watching expressions of human sexuality and sensuality on stage. No one is forcing me or my fellow pole dancers to do what we do - we enjoy it and we enjoy the fact that other people enjoy it. In any event, after pretty well every single performance I have ever done, the comments I've received afterwards from male members of the audience are mostly about how much strength we pole dancers must have to be able to do what we do (mostly ;-) ).

But sensual pole dance is only one style of pole dance. There are many others - circus, acro, tricks based, contemporary, lyrical, theatrical... you are limited only by your imagination (which is quite limiting for some people, it seems).  

As for her claim that pole dancing objectifies women and therefore women should not pole dance, this is not the first time that I've been confronted with this argument. I've given it a fair amount of thought, to try to identify more clearly why it is that this argument bothers me so much.

And I've finally figured it out: if you can't watch a display of athleticism, strength, flexibility and sensuality without perceiving the dancer as an object, then you're the one with the problem, not us. We don't need to stop what we're doing because it makes you face your own views of what "good girls" should and shouldn't do, or because it makes you feel uncomfortable. If you don't like it, don't watch it. That's fine. But if you haven't watched it or tried it, then maybe you shouldn't be judging it, or us.

For me, feminism is about empowering women to be free in our choices of what we want to do with our lives, and how we want to express ourselves. It's not about telling other women what they can and can't do. There may well be situations where for some women, pole dance is inextricably linked with stripping, which for them is oppressive. However, there are plenty of women who pole dance and even strip out of their own free will, and enjoy it. We should be focusing our efforts fighting the agents that create situations of oppression for women, rather than an activity that many people healthily enjoy for many different reasons.  

A final comment: it is very rare for female strength to be celebrated. Most girls and women just want to be thin, and think that that is the only way to be attractive. Pole dance requires a phenomenal amount of strength, flexibility, stamina and endurance. Let's recognise pole dancers for their skill and ability, and stop putting them down. It's pretty clear to me that the people who claim to have moral objections to pole dance need to examine more closely their own hang-ups and views about what women should and shouldn't do.

Rant over. Ahhhh..... That feels better :-)

Shimmy xx

Thursday, 2 February 2012

Engagement parties, weddings, baby showers and pole dancing

Engagement parties, weddings, baby showers and international pole dancing competitions... one of these things is definitely not like the others.

There are certain events that occur in most people's lives that are traditionally celebrated as important milestones. Significant birthdays, engagements, weddings, baby showers, the baby's arrival, the christening, first birthday, wedding anniversaries etc. I'm at the age when most of my (non-pole dancing) friends have either already ticked off a number of these milestones, or are well on their way to doing so. Whenever I go to one of these events to celebrate a life achievement with one of my friends, I always think of that episode of Sex and the City, where Carrie's shoes go missing at a friend's party.

(In case you haven't seen it, here's a quick synopsis - when leaving the party at her friend's house, Carrie is devastated to find her expensive shoes are not where she left them. After much hinting on Carrie's part, the friend reluctantly offers to replace them, but then baulks when Carrie tells her how much they cost. The friend shames Carrie for spending so much money on the shoes. Carrie sits down and calculates how much she has spent on gift-giving over the years to celebrate the friend's life choices, and realises it is a small fortune. Carrie decides to announce she is engaged to herself, and sends the friend her bridal registry - with one item only on it: the shoes she lost. The friend, taking Carrie's point, obliges. Carrie is happy).

I'm reminded of this episode because sometimes I feel a bit like Carrie at these sorts of celebrations. So far, I've resisted the urge to travel down the well-trodden path of betrothal and procreation. Even though I've been with my partner for 8 years now, we remain unmarried and baby-free (much to my grandmother's sorrow). It's not that I'm opposed to marriage and babies, quite the opposite in fact - I'm the first to cry at weddings and I adore children and can't wait to be asked to babysit my friends' rug-rats. I don't know that I will ever get married, but one day in the more distant future I probably will have kids (but I'm not making any definitive statements -  after all, motherhood is often only one careless boozy night away...).

But back to the title of this blog post. Being an unwedded non-breeder has started to make me feel like a bit of a black sheep in certain social settings, particularly when people ask me what I've been up to lately.  I've noticed that my announcements ("I'm going to the World Pole Championships! We came third! I'm going to the IPC in Hong Kong! I did a fun show at a gay and lesbian nightclub the other night with one of my male pole dancer friends - and we rocked it!) seem to make some people feel a bit uncomfortable. More often than not, the reaction seems to be a few awkward sideways glances, a tight smile, and a change of subject.

Certainly, you can't compare the significance of the arrival of new life on this planet with a pole competition or performance. And publicly announcing that you are tying your life and fortunes to your loved one in marriage is also a big deal (but I will point out that in the time I've been with my boyfriend, I've seen relationships begin, marriages take place, and divorce papers filed, so... ummm.... ahem).

I just want to say that even though I don't have any rings on my fingers, bells on my toes or buns in the oven, things still happen to me that are important to me. When my friends say to me "We're getting married!", I reply "Oh my goodness! That's wonderful!", and dammit - I want the same reaction when I announce "I came second in a competition for my booty shaking pole show!" (after all, I'm sure anyone who's tried both will tell you booty shaking combined with pole is a LOT harder than getting knocked up).

Or maybe I'm just taking the wrong approach. Maybe what I need to do is to take a leaf out of Carrie's book, and start throwing myself afternoon tea parties or cocktail soirees every time something I consider to be a significant milestone event for me occurs. I'm laughing to myself now even as I think about the invitations:

Fiona and David would be delighted to have the pleasure of your company to celebrate their daughter Shimmy's winning of the Miss Pier Hotel competition, for her spectacularly saucy performance to Lithium by Nirvana. The crowd went wild and so will you when she does a repeat performance for you. RSVP essential. Dress: Cocktail. Registry details are available at David Jones.   

I wonder if anyone would come???

Shimmy xx

PS Lou Lou I know you and Dee would come. Love you xxx